We Are All Different - Shim - World Crew Email

Hey guys,




I sat with a new friend at a show recently and talked about some of the things on her mind.

I found it funny that so much of what she felt, mirrored how I feel. And I found myself listening to my own advice at times (which we all should do more of).



We walk through our lives looking, hoping, praying, dreaming for... acceptance. Just acceptance for who we are. Who we really are. Not who they want us to be. To just feel a part of something special.



A relationship.



A family.



A friendship.



But we are all different. Every single one of us. Not one of us is the same. Even identical twins have their differences, so they are not the same (talk about an identity crisis).





I remember having pimples as a kid and feeling ridiculed for it by girls and guys more popular than me. My godfather said to me "Wouldn't it make sense to say to each other, Hey we all have them so what's the big deal?" I remember wishing life was that simple. The funny thing is that I remember feeling like I was accepted when I stood in front of a mirror and had pimple popping competitions with my friend. We'd compete on who had the WORST pimple!



Because we accepted each other for it. And hence ... felt a part of something together (as messed up as that sounds). I didn't feel alone.



So my new friend says to me that she's having trouble cause she won't act like the other people at college and gets left out of situations. Feels isolated. And above all...



UN-ACCEPTED.



She feels judged by her so called friends because she wont be social in the same way as everyone else. She wants to take time to get to know people. Instead of getting drunk and laid and using the standard mechanisms that most 18 year olds use to get past their insecurities.



So I sit with this girl as she feels judged. But she isn't realizing that she is also judging all those people for how they interact. Just because it isn't how she would go about it. Her and all her friends are just as insecure as each other about being ACCEPTED. And they all do the best they can with their 18 years of experience.



I have felt judged my whole life because people told me I had to be something else to be fitted into someone else's situation.



And I didn't realise how much I judged them because I thought THEY didn't get it. When really we were just different. I wish I looked at it that way earlier.



I spent so long feeling completely alone when they probably were coming from exactly the same place. They just acted differently... because we're all different.



The mistake that I made was that I actually tried to change myself over and over again to fit into their situations. Which I could never keep up. Eventually I had to stand up and say "This is who I am. If you don't dig it, we aren't right for each other in this life. You go find someone who gets you, and I'll do the same." It hurts like hell but I actually feel happier knowing that at least when I'm alone, It's me.



And I will soon find people who get me.



Then we can not feel alone together.



Shim