Life is about relationships.
People have many different definitions of success. Once in Canada Emma asked me to answer questions instantly. She would ask a question, and I would say the first thing that came into my head.
So she asked, "What do you want?" I answered with one word: success. At the time my definition of success meant being a famous rock star. I wanted people to read and care about the things that I wrote, such as what you are reading now.
So here we are, I'm writing and your reading. But that's not what makes me feel successful in my life. What makes me feel successful? My relationships.
On Sick Puppies first album tour, I lost contact with my family at home in Australia. I broke up with my girlfriend of the time, and I no longer found the same joy of playing music because I wasn't doing it to play music. I was doing it to be "Successful." I didn't even realise that I had made that shift in thinking until I was asked.
We have to ask.
We have to listen.
Do not ask someone else.
Ask yourself.
Your friends have their own problems. They think about theirs a lot more than they think about yours, no matter how much they care about you. When they lay their head on the pillow at night they run through the same unrequited conversations that you do. They'll even think about things you've said and wonder "How do I deal with this? Why can't I help my friend?" They still aren't thinking about you, they are thinking about themselves. There is a difference.
That is not a bad thing. We all do it. We are all the same. We all want to be validated and appreciated. I'm still figuring that out. It takes energy to be good to people consistently. It is in our nature to be selfish in this day and age. The funny thing is, that it is in our historic human nature to be good to each other. I think we're just going through a rough patch.
After Sick Puppies made Tri-Polar, I made a much more conscientious effort to maintain the relationships that are important to me. I called home more. I gave more time to our fans. I gave my seat to a couple on the plane so they could sit together.
Give as much as you can.
To as many people as you can.
As often as you can.
Do it selfishly.
Do it for yourself.
Do it so you can feel that feeling in your chest when you know that someone is better off the minute after they met you, than they were the minute before.
Do it because it brings you closer to that version of yourself that you are striving to be.
A good person.
Life is about relationships and giving to the relationships that are important. I want to give to my family. I want to give to you for reading this, because you are important to me. I want to give to Sick Puppies fans everywhere for helping me realise that I am more than a "rock star."
I am worth more than just being a "rock star."
I am everything that has brought me to this moment and everything I hope to give to the future.
And so are you. And though you may not think that you are actually part of my journey because we don't speak everyday... you are. Because you teach me about myself by giving me what I thought I wanted and making me realise, what is actually important.
It's not about being something for someone else.
It's about being you. About being me.
Accepting your flaws as much as your successes, because they are equal in importance to us.
I am as much my failures as my successes. You learn so much more from your failures than your successes. So don't wait for someone to ask how you are, because it's easy to be honest with someone when you're lying to yourself.
The flipside to that coin is that everyone is the same. Some people will use you to make themselves feel better because they are lying to themselves.
They love you because they are lonely.
They love you for how they make you feel.
They love you because they had nothing else to love that winter.
The hardest part is recognising that and recognizing you deserve better. It takes effort. So the next time you are next to someone you love, tell them. Don't wait till you're both drunk, or you've hit your limit of being ignored, or your limit of keeping your mouth shut. If you love someone, just let them know.
Let them know in the way that you would want to be told.
Help them feel the way that you would want to feel.
You have all helped me.
I hope I never begin to think that I'm perfect, because I would miss out on that feeling. That's why we live this silly little existence we worry about so much.
The best piece of advice I was ever given came from a man much older than myself and boiled down to something you just can't argue with:
"Treat people how you want to be treated and everything is beautiful."
May life give you the patience to endure and forgive the relationships that are worth keeping,the strength to leave behind the ones that aren't, and the wisdom to know the difference.
And for god's sakes remember to have fun!
Kindest,
Shim
Thursday 6 May 2010
Wednesday 21 April 2010
We Are All Different - Shim - World Crew Email
Hey guys,
I sat with a new friend at a show recently and talked about some of the things on her mind.
I found it funny that so much of what she felt, mirrored how I feel. And I found myself listening to my own advice at times (which we all should do more of).
We walk through our lives looking, hoping, praying, dreaming for... acceptance. Just acceptance for who we are. Who we really are. Not who they want us to be. To just feel a part of something special.
A relationship.
A family.
A friendship.
But we are all different. Every single one of us. Not one of us is the same. Even identical twins have their differences, so they are not the same (talk about an identity crisis).
I remember having pimples as a kid and feeling ridiculed for it by girls and guys more popular than me. My godfather said to me "Wouldn't it make sense to say to each other, Hey we all have them so what's the big deal?" I remember wishing life was that simple. The funny thing is that I remember feeling like I was accepted when I stood in front of a mirror and had pimple popping competitions with my friend. We'd compete on who had the WORST pimple!
Because we accepted each other for it. And hence ... felt a part of something together (as messed up as that sounds). I didn't feel alone.
So my new friend says to me that she's having trouble cause she won't act like the other people at college and gets left out of situations. Feels isolated. And above all...
UN-ACCEPTED.
She feels judged by her so called friends because she wont be social in the same way as everyone else. She wants to take time to get to know people. Instead of getting drunk and laid and using the standard mechanisms that most 18 year olds use to get past their insecurities.
So I sit with this girl as she feels judged. But she isn't realizing that she is also judging all those people for how they interact. Just because it isn't how she would go about it. Her and all her friends are just as insecure as each other about being ACCEPTED. And they all do the best they can with their 18 years of experience.
I have felt judged my whole life because people told me I had to be something else to be fitted into someone else's situation.
And I didn't realise how much I judged them because I thought THEY didn't get it. When really we were just different. I wish I looked at it that way earlier.
I spent so long feeling completely alone when they probably were coming from exactly the same place. They just acted differently... because we're all different.
The mistake that I made was that I actually tried to change myself over and over again to fit into their situations. Which I could never keep up. Eventually I had to stand up and say "This is who I am. If you don't dig it, we aren't right for each other in this life. You go find someone who gets you, and I'll do the same." It hurts like hell but I actually feel happier knowing that at least when I'm alone, It's me.
And I will soon find people who get me.
Then we can not feel alone together.
Shim
I sat with a new friend at a show recently and talked about some of the things on her mind.
I found it funny that so much of what she felt, mirrored how I feel. And I found myself listening to my own advice at times (which we all should do more of).
We walk through our lives looking, hoping, praying, dreaming for... acceptance. Just acceptance for who we are. Who we really are. Not who they want us to be. To just feel a part of something special.
A relationship.
A family.
A friendship.
But we are all different. Every single one of us. Not one of us is the same. Even identical twins have their differences, so they are not the same (talk about an identity crisis).
I remember having pimples as a kid and feeling ridiculed for it by girls and guys more popular than me. My godfather said to me "Wouldn't it make sense to say to each other, Hey we all have them so what's the big deal?" I remember wishing life was that simple. The funny thing is that I remember feeling like I was accepted when I stood in front of a mirror and had pimple popping competitions with my friend. We'd compete on who had the WORST pimple!
Because we accepted each other for it. And hence ... felt a part of something together (as messed up as that sounds). I didn't feel alone.
So my new friend says to me that she's having trouble cause she won't act like the other people at college and gets left out of situations. Feels isolated. And above all...
UN-ACCEPTED.
She feels judged by her so called friends because she wont be social in the same way as everyone else. She wants to take time to get to know people. Instead of getting drunk and laid and using the standard mechanisms that most 18 year olds use to get past their insecurities.
So I sit with this girl as she feels judged. But she isn't realizing that she is also judging all those people for how they interact. Just because it isn't how she would go about it. Her and all her friends are just as insecure as each other about being ACCEPTED. And they all do the best they can with their 18 years of experience.
I have felt judged my whole life because people told me I had to be something else to be fitted into someone else's situation.
And I didn't realise how much I judged them because I thought THEY didn't get it. When really we were just different. I wish I looked at it that way earlier.
I spent so long feeling completely alone when they probably were coming from exactly the same place. They just acted differently... because we're all different.
The mistake that I made was that I actually tried to change myself over and over again to fit into their situations. Which I could never keep up. Eventually I had to stand up and say "This is who I am. If you don't dig it, we aren't right for each other in this life. You go find someone who gets you, and I'll do the same." It hurts like hell but I actually feel happier knowing that at least when I'm alone, It's me.
And I will soon find people who get me.
Then we can not feel alone together.
Shim
Thursday 8 April 2010
Sick Puppies Live and Unplugged Released :)
Today the Live and Unplugged EP has been released in stores. hosting 4 of Sick Puppies accoustic versions of songs :
Odd One
So What I Lied
The Pretender
You're Going Down (Live)
To buy this EP go to the advertisments in this post
Odd One
So What I Lied
The Pretender
You're Going Down (Live)
To buy this EP go to the advertisments in this post
Tuesday 6 April 2010
Viewing tour dates
To view the tour dates just click on the image and it will load it up as a full sized picture, if you wish to use the map function, go to sick puppies website at http://www.sickpuppies.net/ :)
Saturday 3 April 2010
Sick Puppies - Odd One on Fuse.tv
Heres a link to view Sick Puppies latest music video - Odd One, rate it on http://www.fuse.tv/ countdown to help them reach number one :)
www.fuseblog.typepad.com/fuseblog/2010/01/video-of-the-day-sick-puppies-odd-one.html
www.fuseblog.typepad.com/fuseblog/2010/01/video-of-the-day-sick-puppies-odd-one.html
Saturday 27 March 2010
A message from Shim - World Crew Post
Just though this email i got from being a member of the world crew made alot of sense :)
I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine recently. (Yes I have a friend)
But first, I will ask you...
Think of YOUR biggest problem.
It should come to you pretty fast. The problem on your mind the most. The most unresolved thing that you think about before you can actually GET yourself into dreamland from your pillow each night.
Got it?
Good.
Now, back to my conversation.
My friend went to the observatory in LA. There he saw a tutorial on the Universe.
There he learned,
(Now REALLY read this)
Our planet revolves around our Sun with all the other Planets in our Galaxy.
Around our Planet there is a Moon that revolves around us. And the other Planets have a Moon if not more than one.
That one Solar System is one of BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Solar Systems that make up a Galaxy call the "The Milky Way".
Each of those billions of Solar Systems have BILLIONS of Suns with BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Planets revolving around them.
Each with BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Moons revolving around them.
THAT Galaxy is one of BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Galaxies all tied together to make up what is called "A Super Galaxy"
So a "Super Galaxy Contains"..... BILLIONS of Galaxies... with BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Solar systems.... With BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Suns...... With BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Planets revolving around them..... with BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Moons (more than one each sometimes) revolving around them.
Now In between all of these "Super Galaxies" there is something called "Dark matter" We don't know what it is but we know it exist because we can see the suns light refracting off of it.
So the Dark matter separates all the "Super Galaxies"
There are BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Super Galaxies!
ALL those Super Galaxies with all those little Galaxies and tiny Solar systems and marbles of Suns and tear drops of Planets and rice grains of Moons inside them.
Now All of those "Super Galaxies" make up our Universe which we know is still ever expanding. We have no idea how big it is or how long it will grow.
Remember that problem you had?
:)
It's gonna be ok.
Trust me.
Shim
I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine recently. (Yes I have a friend)
But first, I will ask you...
Think of YOUR biggest problem.
It should come to you pretty fast. The problem on your mind the most. The most unresolved thing that you think about before you can actually GET yourself into dreamland from your pillow each night.
Got it?
Good.
Now, back to my conversation.
My friend went to the observatory in LA. There he saw a tutorial on the Universe.
There he learned,
(Now REALLY read this)
Our planet revolves around our Sun with all the other Planets in our Galaxy.
Around our Planet there is a Moon that revolves around us. And the other Planets have a Moon if not more than one.
That one Solar System is one of BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Solar Systems that make up a Galaxy call the "The Milky Way".
Each of those billions of Solar Systems have BILLIONS of Suns with BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Planets revolving around them.
Each with BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Moons revolving around them.
THAT Galaxy is one of BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Galaxies all tied together to make up what is called "A Super Galaxy"
So a "Super Galaxy Contains"..... BILLIONS of Galaxies... with BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Solar systems.... With BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Suns...... With BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Planets revolving around them..... with BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Moons (more than one each sometimes) revolving around them.
Now In between all of these "Super Galaxies" there is something called "Dark matter" We don't know what it is but we know it exist because we can see the suns light refracting off of it.
So the Dark matter separates all the "Super Galaxies"
There are BILLIONS and BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Super Galaxies!
ALL those Super Galaxies with all those little Galaxies and tiny Solar systems and marbles of Suns and tear drops of Planets and rice grains of Moons inside them.
Now All of those "Super Galaxies" make up our Universe which we know is still ever expanding. We have no idea how big it is or how long it will grow.
Remember that problem you had?
:)
It's gonna be ok.
Trust me.
Shim
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