Latest World Crew email :) The wise words of Shim

Life is about relationships.




People have many different definitions of success. Once in Canada Emma asked me to answer questions instantly. She would ask a question, and I would say the first thing that came into my head.



So she asked, "What do you want?" I answered with one word: success. At the time my definition of success meant being a famous rock star. I wanted people to read and care about the things that I wrote, such as what you are reading now.



So here we are, I'm writing and your reading. But that's not what makes me feel successful in my life. What makes me feel successful? My relationships.



On Sick Puppies first album tour, I lost contact with my family at home in Australia. I broke up with my girlfriend of the time, and I no longer found the same joy of playing music because I wasn't doing it to play music. I was doing it to be "Successful." I didn't even realise that I had made that shift in thinking until I was asked.



We have to ask.



We have to listen.



Do not ask someone else.



Ask yourself.



Your friends have their own problems. They think about theirs a lot more than they think about yours, no matter how much they care about you. When they lay their head on the pillow at night they run through the same unrequited conversations that you do. They'll even think about things you've said and wonder "How do I deal with this? Why can't I help my friend?" They still aren't thinking about you, they are thinking about themselves. There is a difference.



That is not a bad thing. We all do it. We are all the same. We all want to be validated and appreciated. I'm still figuring that out. It takes energy to be good to people consistently. It is in our nature to be selfish in this day and age. The funny thing is, that it is in our historic human nature to be good to each other. I think we're just going through a rough patch.



After Sick Puppies made Tri-Polar, I made a much more conscientious effort to maintain the relationships that are important to me. I called home more. I gave more time to our fans. I gave my seat to a couple on the plane so they could sit together.



Give as much as you can.



To as many people as you can.



As often as you can.



Do it selfishly.



Do it for yourself.



Do it so you can feel that feeling in your chest when you know that someone is better off the minute after they met you, than they were the minute before.



Do it because it brings you closer to that version of yourself that you are striving to be.



A good person.



Life is about relationships and giving to the relationships that are important. I want to give to my family. I want to give to you for reading this, because you are important to me. I want to give to Sick Puppies fans everywhere for helping me realise that I am more than a "rock star."



I am worth more than just being a "rock star."



I am everything that has brought me to this moment and everything I hope to give to the future.



And so are you. And though you may not think that you are actually part of my journey because we don't speak everyday... you are. Because you teach me about myself by giving me what I thought I wanted and making me realise, what is actually important.



It's not about being something for someone else.



It's about being you. About being me.



Accepting your flaws as much as your successes, because they are equal in importance to us.



I am as much my failures as my successes. You learn so much more from your failures than your successes. So don't wait for someone to ask how you are, because it's easy to be honest with someone when you're lying to yourself.



The flipside to that coin is that everyone is the same. Some people will use you to make themselves feel better because they are lying to themselves.



They love you because they are lonely.



They love you for how they make you feel.



They love you because they had nothing else to love that winter.



The hardest part is recognising that and recognizing you deserve better. It takes effort. So the next time you are next to someone you love, tell them. Don't wait till you're both drunk, or you've hit your limit of being ignored, or your limit of keeping your mouth shut. If you love someone, just let them know.



Let them know in the way that you would want to be told.



Help them feel the way that you would want to feel.



You have all helped me.



I hope I never begin to think that I'm perfect, because I would miss out on that feeling. That's why we live this silly little existence we worry about so much.



The best piece of advice I was ever given came from a man much older than myself and boiled down to something you just can't argue with:



"Treat people how you want to be treated and everything is beautiful."



May life give you the patience to endure and forgive the relationships that are worth keeping,the strength to leave behind the ones that aren't, and the wisdom to know the difference.



And for god's sakes remember to have fun!



Kindest,



Shim